i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize