a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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