STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
