Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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