You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
