Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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