Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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