I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I could fuck to npr.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize