She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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