I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i permit you to call me
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Man, jail baloney is awful.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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