It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
