Nicole vs. Life
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You have to summon your inner elephant
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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