oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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