Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
