chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This is my gift to your gina
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
