They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize