things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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