i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
