But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
