Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
