people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
