So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
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