I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
