Pants 0. Shit 1.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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