Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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