fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
