Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
