I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
