the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize