he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Be still, my beating vagina.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
