The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
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