Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
In America we eat man semen.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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