I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
