Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
50% drunk capacity currently
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
