This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
