Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
