I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
