Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize