Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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