I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
