We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
