I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
