But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
