I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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