508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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