D3 body, D1 cock
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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