what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
