hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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