Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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