Nicole vs. Life
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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