He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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