I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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