I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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