hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
