There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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