bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
