so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
