I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
