mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
