I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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