So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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