I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize