Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The air was thick with penises
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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