The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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