I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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