Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
