y did u give ur computer a hand job?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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