never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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