Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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